What Can You Do?

Greetings,


On my journey home I have encountered a phenomenon that begs for attention and recognition. I have experienced it as a child and watched as my parents deal with it. I have also done battle with it as an adult and thanked God that I recalled the way in which they did so. I am sure that all of you have experienced the inevitability of that which I write about. It can chew you up and spit you out and, because of the experience you will never be the same. It is subtle in it's attack and merciless in it's ability to suck the joy from your life. It can change the course history for both individual or a family. It shows no favoritism in it's attack. Both rich and poor feels it's sting and, today, it chose to rear it's ugly head smack dab in the middle of my family!

The evil that I speak of, the event in which I refer to, is ....the expense in a family's budget entitled miscellaneous!

I know what your thinking. Not only do I know what you are thinking I can also hear you screaming at your computer screen. Your response to my first paragraph is a normal and understandable response. "What in the world is this guy talking about?" "I think I just wasted 5 minutes of my life reading this stupid blog!" "I am so confused right now I am not sure I will ever recover from what just happened!" Go on, say it, you have know idea what I'm talking about. That's OK! I'll explain it!

Do you ever watch those commercials on TV about planning for your retirement? They make it seem so easy. There's a baby boomer or a young couple sitting across the table from a man or woman which looks just like a character that you have seen on another commercial or TV show. Numbers are flying around their heads and the bottom line that they are shown is some number that you can hardly even read because it has so many 0's in it. The couple smiles and gives a sigh of relief because they have a financial plan! Don't get me wrong financial plans are great. I just don't think that the commercial represents reality and that's where my story comes in!

We all have family budgets, don't we. It's a tool that all of us use in one way or another. You might have it written down and hanging on the refrigerator. It may just be a mental budget where you keep all of the 1's and 0's safely tucked in your powerful grey matter! Me, I use a file folder. Each section holds a certain amount of money that can only be used for a specific purpose. So much for groceries, so much for medical, you get the idea. Budgets exist so that we can be assured that we are spending our hard earned money in a fiscally responsible way. The problem, however, comes from the line item entitled miscellaneous! You know, it's the section of the budget that is a catch all for all the things that don't fit, nicely, under another section of the budget. For instance, let's say, I don't know, perhaps a new jock strap for your 13 year old, football playing, son. Where does that fit into the budget? I know it's not a grocery item. Perhaps I could pull the money from the medical section of the budget. I mean, after all, the purchase does go towards preventing a situation whereby, without this item, he could find himself in some emergency room due to a low hit from some defensive back whose helmet found that one area of my son's body that was not fully protected. If not medical then how about transportation? I could justify the expense by taking in to account the mileage that would accrue as I drove the aforementioned son to the hospital emergency room. No, I think this expense needs to come from miscellaneous!

Unforeseen expenses pop up in every family's budget and, when they do, they usually come from the miscellaneous line item. It's OK! It's impossible to create a line item for every expense that might come up during any given month. Junior breaks a window while trying to hit the wiffle ball across the yard and onto the roof? Miscellaneous! ( That one, by the way, was me when I was just a youngster. Sorry about that dad!) The family pet decides that he needs to leave his mark on the new carpet? Home repair? Maybe ,but probably miscellaneous! Your 15 year old son makes you aware the he owes $25.00 in book fines because he was late in returning the copy of Gone With the Wind to the library? Unless you have a line item in your budget entitled Bonehead Things That Our Son Does you will probably find yourself pulling from the miscellaneous section of your budget! From prom dresses to support bras and tennis shoes to parking tickets most of our lives fall under miscellaneous!

I tell you this because I was, recently, attacked by that dastardly miscellaneous monster! There are certain things in which families save their money. From vacations and summer camps, new cars and new roofs, college tuition and new air conditioners, the American family finds itself stuffing dimes and dollars into Ball jars and shoe boxes. My family is no different. We have been saving for our daughter's college for many years now. Our financial planning was fool proof! From savings account to stocks and bonds we had this college thing whooped, or so we thought! Last year we found ourselves watching the stock market as our "college nest egg" fell from the tree of life and was run over by a passing lawn mower! The hit we took was big but we had a backup. Thankfully, we still had our savings. It didn't matter that the money we had placed in savings was only drawing a whopping %1.5 interest. We didn't care that money was safe and wasn't going anywhere, or so we thought.

Have you ever had someone just ball up their fist and sock you as hard as they could right in the stomach? I have! Our bodies have unique physical response to being socked in the gut. First there is this recognition that that area in which your large and small intestines are supposed to be is now occupied by a foreign body, namely someone else’s fist! When this recognition occurs the first thing the body does is to try and evacuate that foreign body. Unfortunately, it also wants to evacuate what ever is in your small and large intestines. Sadly, our bodies do not care which end it comes out of! Our mouths begin to water and our muscles begin to contract. We know something is coming we just aren't which way it's coming out!

I ask you this question simply because I want you to have a comparison in your mind to how I felt over the past week. As I told you before I had a plan! But just a few days ago the miscellaneous monster showed up and socked me in the gut! I have, recently, just regained enough energy to submit this blog entry. I mentioned before that, as a family, we use a file folder for our budgeted money. I also mentioned that we do have a miscellaneous section which we place an allotted amount into. It works for us. We have never had any trouble satisfying the demand of that line item. Sure we feed the beast and the beast has never turned on us! Two days ago it did!

The time had come for all of my family to get new glasses or contacts. Usually, there is no problem in affording this expense. The reason that is true is that we have never had to get new glasses and contacts all at the same time! I don't know the last time you had to get new eyewear. They say you are suppose to get your eyes checked every year. I have always thought of that as more of a suggestion than an actual fact. I usually try and make my glasses last the good part of a decade. I mean, who cares if I have to glue certain pieces of my glass back together? It doesn't bother me that I have to lift up my frames to read small print or squint behind those frames to see the sign along the side of the road. But, alas, my current set of eyewear had run it's course. They gave me the best they had and it was time to enlist a new pair. Remember, I had a plan !

Glasses fall under miscellaneous in our family budget because we don't buy new glasses every month. So, when it happened that we all needed new eyewear I called and made appointment for all of us. At first I had thought that I misunderstood her. I mean, after my brain surgeries I have had trouble correctly hearing what was actually said. The sad thing about it was that I had heard her correctly. "That will be $85.00 for each examination not including the type of frames or contacts". I was sure she was joking. $85.00 a piece? That's $340.00 before we even start looking at new frames. Holy CRAP! Add on the price of frames, lenses, and contacts and my bill is, quickly, approaching $800.00! This wasn't a miscellaneous item this was a monthly paycheck! So, my only choice was to take the money from Stepahnie's college savings! I had a plan!

I have written all of this to share a wonderful thought with you. It is a state of mind which has gotten me through many trials and tribulations throughout my life. It has brought me peace when I found myself in chaos and it has provided comfort in a world of pain. I learned it from my father and I have tried to pass it on to my son. My wife finds incredible yet I say it is as basic as it can be. What is the idea in which I speak of? What are the words that have past from my father to me? It's is simple. These are four words which, if truly believed, can calm any storm in your life. What are the four words? "What Can You Do?"

Before you leave this site due to the fact that were expecting something greater I encourage to stay with me for one more minute. Think about what those words mean. When trials fill our lives with uncertainty and circumstances lead us to fear there is a mindset in which we can look at our situations and see them for what they really are. To say it another way...life isn't easy or hard, it's just life. I have to take money from my daughters college fund because I don't have the money in my budget. What can I do? I mean, really, what else can I do? My family needs to see. It's not like I'm trying to decided whether I can afford a new suit. This is the health of my family's vision we are talking about. What can I do?

It is when I, truly, grasp the idea that my family needs new glasses and I have the money to pay for them is the moment in which the fear of the miscellaneous expense disappears. My dad was right! What can I do? This realization gives me peace. I am not worried that my daughter won't be able to go to college because I need a new pair of glasses. She will go and when she goes she will be able to see better. Releasing the fear and guilt of this situation has been made easier from the four little words that my daddy taught me. My family has to see so WHAT CAN I DO?

I pray that you might be able to come to a sense of piece when life's bitter waves crash upon your boat of life. Some things you just have to do. When it comes to expenses that affect my family's health the actual cost disappears. As I said before my family has to see. Yes, it's a lot of money. Yes, it dips into our savings. Yet, in the end the real blessing isn't knowing my family can see better. The real blessing was that I had the money to make sure they could. I mean, really, WHAT COULD I DO?

Until next time!

Blessings,

Derek